still laptopless, but it's 2013, so that shouldn't stop me from writing a blog or, like, coordinating a missile strike from my phone or whatever.

I'm trying to get back into my life, bit by bit. Bear with me, okay?

1. You might be a Pharisee if . . . 

2. This made me literally laugh out loud.

3. This, on the other hand, made me want to stand on a table and cheer. But i didn't, because i was alone in my house, so that would have been weird. Actually, on reflection, i guess that would have made it less weird. Whatever. Just read it.

4. i used to think i had arrived somewhere,
until i realized there is no shore of arriving.

5. And if you're wondering how i've been the past few weeks, read this.

more sketchy things i have done

I went to a slightly grimy Massachusetts sports bar with some friends. The bouncer was checking IDs at the door, and was giving us a hard time. I don't know if he was just in a bad mood or if he was genuinely suspicious of us, but he looked at my Maryland ID, and then glared at me, and then took his time deliberating. The next time that he peered at me in dim light of the streetlamp, i stared him down. He apologized and handed me my ID, and let us in without another word.

One time, i placed an order from Athena's Home Novelties for some body chocolate FOR A FRIEND. And when my order arrived, it was accompanied by a whole box of things that someone else had ordered and that had mistakenly been shipped to me. There was tingly lube, massage oil, a "Good Head" lollipop, a starter bondage kit, two bullet vibrators, and other assorted goodies. It took me a few days to decide whether or not it was worthwhile to let the company know of the mistake.

updates

So. Posting has been light.

August 30th was my last day at my old job. It was odd and bittersweet. It was kind of like graduation day all over again; after four years of undergrad (plus two years as a student worker in that office), and two years of grad school simultaneous with two years of full-time employment in the same office, it's weird to no longer be affiliated with that school. It's weird to visit campus for my student worker seminar or for a Bible study and to have absolutely no obligation to watch my language or dress appropriately or say good things about the school or anything. I mean, i'm still respectful, and i still care about my alma mater, i just don't officially have to.

The 31st was my final MTEL. If i pass, and if i get that passing score before October 1st, i can start student teaching in the fall. If either of those things doesn't happen, i have to wait till spring. But either way, i'm no longer working a 9-5 office job, and it feels amazing.

I took last week as a vacation. It was desperately needed. I can't remember the last time i took more than one day off for myself. Most of my vacation and personal time in the last two years has been spent in hospitals or at funerals. I had a whole week at home to sleep, cook, play with my cat, deep clean some problem areas in the house, organize my bedroom and library, watch Cheers, and read on my roof. On Tuesday, i got a call about the job i had been waiting for and really really really wanted, which really helped me relax and enjoy my vacation.

On Thursday, i spent most of the day cooking with a friend. We made buffalo chicken spring rolls and Irish car bomb cake, and we watched the pilot of Warehouse 13 and talked about comic books, and then i snuggled with my boyfriend.

On Friday morning, John and i got some coffee and took it to the beach. We sat for a while, chatting and sipping coffee and enjoying the weather. Then we had a very serious discussion, one we'd been putting off for a while, and had even started to have a few weeks earlier. Then we broke up.

We went back to his apartment and i packed my things, drove to a wine shop, took two bottles home, and spent the rest of the day in bed. On Saturday, i only got out of bed to get more water, go to the bathroom, feed my cat, and get my Chinese food from the delivery guy.

On Sunday, i had to lead worship at church. It was absolutely hellish. Less said the better. I then went home, changed, and went to a wedding.

On Monday, i got back to life. I cooked, i cleaned the kitchen, i went to Bible study, i talked to Benji about the breakup.

Today was orientation for my new job, as well as my student teaching seminar. It was a long day, but i feel energized and excited about my future. I learned a lot, and i'm so excited to be busy again after a whole week of vacation. I'm especially excited about a job where i can work with food, and be active and engaged, instead of sitting in front of a computer for seven hours a day.

But i'm sad. I want to tell John about my day. I want to tell him about all of my crazy new co-workers (one of them is an archaeologist! One of them is a religious freak and thinks i am too!), and talk about my new work schedule and figure out how and when we will find time to snuggle, and confess my concerns and uncertainties about what lies ahead. I want to hear about his day, too. And i want to snuggle and kiss and be together. And i can't.

There are so many other things i'd like to say about my new job, and my new schedule, and what i've been cooking and reading, and how my computer broke, and how my heart broke, and everything else. But this post is already long, and i don't think i have it in me to say much more about some of this stuff.

I'll try to set up a new schedule soon. I'll keep everyone posted as i can.