Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Aunt Sis

When i was nine, my great-Aunt Sis moved into our house. She is mentally disabled. I can't be any more clear than that; she was diagnosed as "mentally retarded" in the early 1940s, and has not ever been evaluated since. I have my own theories, but that's a post for another day. Or maybe a doctoral dissertation. Something.

Anyway, she is an amazing person in so many ways, and she has been a blessing in my life. Although at times she is frustrating, and although there are moments when her disability makes her nearly impossible to be around, i love her dearly.

Below is a song that my dad wrote about her (to the tune of). I will provide annotations after each verse.

I have too many shoes to count,
My hair is flaming red.
There's money in my bank account,
No matter what I said.
My skin is cold,
And I'm so old,
You'll wonder if I'm dead;
But don't call me "Sis"!
She has hundreds of pairs of shoes. No one knows where they all come from.  
One of my uncles used to say that she had red hair. It's actually silver-white, but the joke stuck.
She has a small fortune, but can't grasp the concept of a bank account. Since she rarely has more than a few bucks on her in cash, she always says that she is poor. 
Her hands are always ice cold.She is pretty elderly, and we often tease her about her age. 
She usually insists on a title, like "Aunt" or "Mrs."
Gamma gamma, mannerosis,
Everything I own is dusty roses.
On Thursdays, I'm a nurse
And when I flip my lip,
The green grass grows!
"Gamma" and "mannerosis" are both nonsense words that she sometimes says. 
Dusty rose was her favorite color when she first moved in, and many of her apartment furnishings were in that shade. 
She likes to pretend that she is a nurse. 
"Flip my lip off" and "green grass grow" are two of her nonsense phrases.
My uncle smells like boiled eggs,
My aunt did this to me!
I want to use the same bag for
My second cup of tea.
My sugar's made of chemicals,
My food is all fat-free,
But don't call me "Sis"!
She has a nephew (who she calls her uncle) who she always insists smells like boiled eggs. 
"Look what my aunt did to me!" is what she says when she has done something wrong and wants to avert blame to a different (imaginary) person. 
"Same bag" is another phrase. This one has a backstory, but it's too long for this post. 
She only uses artificial sweeteners and insists on fat-free or reduced-fat foods.

Gamma gamma, mannerosis,
Everything I own is dusty roses.
On Thursdays, I'm a nurse
And when I flip my lip,
The green grass grows!

Bagels, cuppachina, yogit, 
Coffee cake, and tea:
These are the only kinds of food
I need inside of me.
Whenever I get near a store,
I go upon a spree.
But don't call me "Sis".
She loves bagels, cappuccino, and yogurt. Sometimes she can't pronounce words correctly. 
She also loves coffee cake and hot or iced tea. 
And shopping. She LOVES shopping.
Gamma gamma, mannerosis,
Everything I own is dusty roses.
On Thursdays, I'm a nurse
And when I flip my lip,
The green grass grows!

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