guilty pleasures: music

I listen to lots of different kinds of music. Classic rock, indie rock, pop rock, pop, worship, classical, singer-songwriter, folk rock -- okay. Maybe i listen to lots of different kinds of rock. Also show tunes.

I like to think that i have pretty discerning taste. I don't like country, i don't like Justin Beiber or Ke$ha, i like lyrical jazz but elevator music does nothing for me, i don't like "boy bands", i grew up on Billy Joel and The Beach Boys and Styx, the first CD i bought with my own money was Avril Lavig -- um. I was thirteen, okay?

And there are some things i like that other people think are terrible, but that i think have redeeming qualities. Like, i really love Amy Grant, especially the super corny 80s love songs (Ev'ry heartbeat bears your name/Loud and clear they stake my claim, yeah/My red blood runs true blue/And every heartbeat belongs to you!). It's catchy, you can sing along without straining your vocal cords, the love is pure and happy rather than desperate and clingy or pathetic and stalkerish *coughcoughTaylorSwiftcoughcough*, and there's the nostalgic association of turning up the volume on the cassette player as loud as it would go while we cleaned the kitchen.

But there are some things i like that are unabashedly terrible. I won't even try to pretend that there are hidden redeeming qualities in these: they are bad, awful, terrible songs, and i love them for that.

1. Girls & Boys, Good Charlotte
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls
The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money

Are there girls who are shallow and selfish and only want something material out of their relationship? Sure. Are there boys who are shallow and selfish and only want something material out of their relationship? Sure. Is there a lot of nonsense in the lyrics for the sake of rhyme and/or meter? Absolutely. But this song is just so FUN!

2. If We Were A Movie, Miley Cyrus
If we were a movie
You'd be the right guy
And I'd be the best friend
That you'd fall in love with
In the end, we'd be laughing
Watching the sunset
Fade to black, show the names
Play that happy song

Yeah, the chorus is really just a summary of All The Chick Flicks. And the verses aren't much better. The whole thing could have been summed up in a snarky, longing, 140-character tweet that would not necessitate hearing Miley's voice. I guess you'll never know/That I should win/An Oscar for this scene I'm in. It hurts so good.

3. Keep Your Hands To Yourself, The Georgia Satellites
I got a little change in my pocket, goin' ching-a-ling-a-ling
Wanna call you on the telephone baby, give you a ring
But each time we talk, I get the same old thing
Always "No huggy, no kissy, until I get a wedding ring."
My honey, my baby, don't put my love up on no shelf
She said, "Don't give me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself!"

Not nearly as classy or high-quality or enduring as Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young", this song nevertheless has the same message and is awfully catchy. And anyone who's ever been to any kind of abstinence rally/meeting/Sunday School lesson/conversation with your parents will find the lady's side of the conversation awfully familiar. That's when she told me some story 'bout free milk and a cow. Also, i think her repeated line (Don't give me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself!) is pretty kick-ass.

4. I Like Cows, Johnny Socko
I like cows
But not to eat them
I like cows
I like to greet them
Cows are fun
You shouldn't put them on a hamburger bun
Or on the grill of your car
Or on the grill in your back yard
I like cows.

The lyrics only get more absurd from there, and the vocal performance is overwhelmingly bad. It's almost to bad too even be entertaining. The pinnacle of the whole performance is toward the end of the song, when Johnny gets more and more amped up until he is screaming, over and over, "I! Like! Cows! I like them! I! Like! Cows! I like them!" I don't even like listening to this song to laugh at it. I mostly just like knowing that it exists and i could theoretically access it if i wanted to.

5. Sorry For Freaking Out On The Phone Last Night, The Mr. T. Experience

Guess what the first line of the song is. No, go ahead and guess. Did you guess that it was Sorry for freaking out on the phone last night? Yeah. It is. As with Johnny Socko, i just like knowing that this song (and band! The Mr. T. Experience!) exists.

6. The entire REO Speedwagon Christmas album, Not So Silent Night: The First Noel, Silent Night, Deck the Halls, Little Drummer Boy, The White Snows of Winter, Angels We Have Heard On High, Children Go Where I Send Thee, I'll Be Home For Christmas, Joy to the World. It's surreal and terrible and i play it every Christmas. In my office. I'm generous that way.

saving me (musician)

One musician in particular: my unbelievably wonderful boyfriend.

playlist ruminations

Some girls, they glow in darkness

But by our standards, that's not much

Some girls, they'd like to win

But instead they'll serve you lunch

I love to travel. I like the inbetweenness of it, the freedom of not really being anywhere. You're departing and arriving all at once. It's so ethereal and poetic. It's also romantic and magical, especially when you're on a train. I watched a lot of old movies/read a lot of British novels when i was a kid. And still do. And always will.

But i can't sleep when i travel. With all the flying i have done, including international flights across oceans late at night, i think i've slept on a plane twice. Once i slept in an airport in Spain, because i was on a layover and was better able to sleep in the tiny airport chair with the janitors walking by than in the airplane. I don't sleep in cars, i don't sleep in trains, i don't sleep on buses.

I don't think i've ever seen the train this full before. Conversely, i've never had so much legroom. I think i accidentally took a handicapped seat.

It's coming up on midnight now, and i'm sleepy and writing and listening to music and doing homework. And staying awake, munching dried mango and sunflower seeds. God, i'm such a hippie sometimes.

That's what takes up time in this life

Add up the sum of the slights

And sooner or later

Love comes inside you

Gets behind you 

Takes you under its wing

It's partly that i'm afraid of someone stealing my things while i sleep. It's partly that transportation seating is generally not as sleep-inducing as my memory foam mattress pad and my warm, cozy boyfriend. It's partly just that i'm enjoying the ride so much.

Of course, i also have massive amounts of homework to do. And i am happily ignoring it all to blog. I am so self-sabotaging sometimes.


We long for journeys and the roadside

We long for starlight and the low tide

Yeah, we long for fairy tales and firesides

But it's also really healthy for me, mentally, to be taking this time. I don't spend much time alone these days. I mean, sometimes John isn't around and i eat and/or sleep alone, and sometimes i'm driving alone or in the grocery store alone, etc. But i don't often take time to intentionally be by myself. When i'm alone, it's usually a fluke: waiting for someone, someone is waiting for me, staying up in the kitchen doing homework while John sleeps.

We long for sunlight on the hillsides
Yeah, we long for yesterdays and hindsight
Oh, we long for fairy tales and firesides

This trip is just me.

Yeah, we long for carnivals and fairground rides
Oh, we long for journeys and the roadsides
Oh, we long for fairy tales and firesides

timshel

Today i visited my gas station attendant friend, Hamid. Ever since the first time i had to put gas in my car in Quincy, i have gone to Hamid, because he is awesome and because i believe in loyalty.

Hamid always asks me how i am doing. The last time i was there, he also asked about my life in general, what i was doing. I told him i was in school and working, and that i was very busy. Hamid's English is good, but not great, and the conversation was had as we leaned across my passenger window, so we didn't get into a lot of detail about goals and dreams and personal histories. But he knows that i am there for gas every other week, unless i've had to run a lot of errands and visit him a week early. And he told me that i would be a beautiful teacher of English.

Today, he asked again how i was doing.
"I'm good. Busy."
"With work, and school? You are full time?"
"Yes, full time work and school. I am very busy."
"Oh, it must be very hard for you. You are doing okay?"
"Yes, i am doing okay. It is good to be busy."
He smiles. "And you are alone? You have someone to help you, to cook for you?"
Are you hitting on me, Hamid? i wonder. But all i say is, "I cook for myself." I say it with a smile.
"Ah. And your family?"
"They are far away. They are in another state, about eight hours away."
"Ah. It must be very hard. Or easy? You are happy, or no?"
"I have friends here, so i am happy."
"It is good. Good to have friends."
"Yes."
We are both smiling, because that is more than words.
"You have a good week. I see you later?"
"Yes. You too!"

As i pull away and head for the grocery store, Mumford and Sons is the soundtrack to my inner monologue.

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind

It is hard. I am very busy, and i am so tired, so tired. My family is far away, a mixed blessing. My friends are near, also a mixed blessing. Sometimes i get stuck in my own head. I've been feeling pretty stuck lately.

And you have your choices
And these are what make man great 
His ladder to the stars

I am so lucky to be where i am. This is everything i wanted and more than i ever dreamed of, and it should be hard. If it were easy, it would hardly be worth having. The work is what will enable me to be what i should be, what i could be.

But you are not alone in this
You are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

I am not alone. I have Hamid, for one. And Benji, Emily, Larissa, John, and so many others. Hand-holding is powerful, whether it is actual fingers clasping or a smile shared over a half-opened passenger side window.

You are not alone in this
You are not alone in this

I could get used to this . . .

I've been to a few Christian concert events, like Soulfest, and i went to an Amy Grant concert when i was in middle school. But i've never been to a real concert, one where my friends and i said, "Hey, this band we like is playing in our town. Let's buy tickets and go!"

Until last night.

A group of my friends decided to go to the Owl City concert, opened by Unwed Sailor and Mat Kerney. It was at the House of Blues in Boston.

We wanted to make sure that we'd get a good spot, somewhere near the stage, so we showed up three hours early, prepared to sit on the sidewalk in the heat and humidity until the doors opened. We were a big group of friends, we all had phones and digital entertainment devices, some of us even had food and drinks. So we figured we'd be fine. Sure, it wouldn't be as nice as sitting on squishy, overstuffed couches, in air conditioning, with waitresses bringing us cool drinks. But we didn't mind and had decided it was worthwhile if we got a good spot for the concert. We had just settled in when this big guy in a suit came out of the building and offered us free passes to the VIP lounge. Believe me when i tell you that it is even cooler looking when you're there than it is in the pictures.

We sat on squishy, overstuffed couches, in air conditioning, with waitresses bringing us cool drinks. (Of course, we had to pay for the food and drinks, but for a VIP lounge they were pretty reasonably priced). There were bathrooms, there was free WiFi, and we still got to be some of the first people in.

It's surprising how quickly you can become accustomed to luxury. I'm now wondering why people don't offer me free exclusive passes to fancy things and places more often. I'm wondering how i can make this a part of my regular life. "What? Waiting in line at Dunkin Donuts? Isn't there a secret back room where i can sit until my order is ready to be brought to me on a tray?"

I can tell you this much: i'm going to be three hours early to everything for the rest of my life from now on.