Emily: "I don't fit in well with people."
Jennifer: "I would say, 'Join the club,' but that would be counter-intuitive."
Emily: "What does Alex do, exactly?"
Matthew: "Freshmen."
KP: "You're a very humble, mild, well-mannered young man. We'll have to work on that."
Andrew: "I am 23.25 years old. My life is not a competition. There is no award for how sucky your day was compared to mine."
Jennifer: "Even starving Africans aren't going to eat a chocolate rabbit ass-first."
Bridget: "I just feel bad for the people who have to write the science text books. They must feel so awkward typing up that stuff (the chapter on human reproduction). Although maybe they like it. My mom really liked it. I mean -- not that part! I mean she really liked learning about it!"
Sheila: "Wait, what part did your mom like learning about?"
Bridget: "The . . . the reproduction (whispered) you know. The intercourse stuff."
Sheila: "So your mom didn't like having intercourse?"
Bridget: "I don't know!!"
Jennifer (to a mosquito): "Bitch. What are you doing here? Didn't you see the citronella candle?"
Pam: "He can also make his foot into a fist."
Jennifer: "Well, that's a handy skill to have, in case he's ever in a fight and he breaks both of his hands."
Pam: "The internet is being a whore."
Jennifer: "No, if it was being a whore, it would be easier to use."
Pam: "As our friendship grows, so does your butt."
Jennifer: "You realize this means you guys will have to be roommates forever? For fear it might deflate when she moves out."
George: "My life is a sad spiral of hate and lies. And gay porn."
Jennifer: "Even starving Africans aren't going to eat a chocolate rabbit ass-first."
Bridget: "I just feel bad for the people who have to write the science text books. They must feel so awkward typing up that stuff (the chapter on human reproduction). Although maybe they like it. My mom really liked it. I mean -- not that part! I mean she really liked learning about it!"
Sheila: "Wait, what part did your mom like learning about?"
Bridget: "The . . . the reproduction (whispered) you know. The intercourse stuff."
Sheila: "So your mom didn't like having intercourse?"
Bridget: "I don't know!!"
Jennifer (to a mosquito): "Bitch. What are you doing here? Didn't you see the citronella candle?"
Pam: "He can also make his foot into a fist."
Jennifer: "Well, that's a handy skill to have, in case he's ever in a fight and he breaks both of his hands."
Pam: "The internet is being a whore."
Jennifer: "No, if it was being a whore, it would be easier to use."
Pam: "As our friendship grows, so does your butt."
Jennifer: "You realize this means you guys will have to be roommates forever? For fear it might deflate when she moves out."
George: "My life is a sad spiral of hate and lies. And gay porn."
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