In Love

For those of you who have been under a rock for the last week, North Carolina recently passed the first ever amendment to their state constitution, banning gay marriage. This in spite of the fact that the amendment was redundant and that the language of it may also restrict heterosexual marriages.

One day later, President Obama went on CNN and told the nation that he supports the legal right of same-sex couples to marry.

Here's the thing: at no point did he say that being gay is or is not a sin. At no point did he talk about morality, or personal values, or what he and Michelle teach their children.

What he said was that there is no reason for same-sex couples to be denied the same legal rights that heterosexual couples already have.

I've written about gay marriage before, and while i'm still formulating a lot of my opinions, i want to say here and now that yesterday, i was proud to have voted for our President.

I also want to say this: stop saying that changing the legal definition of marriage is going to destroy the sanctity of marriage. If the gay couple next door is threatening the sanctity of your marriage, your marriage was already on the rocks.

Marriage is between two partners. Sometimes, it is between two partners and one God. Sometimes it is between two partners and many gods. Sometimes it is between several partners (there is a reason that polygamous families call one another "sister-wives". The marriage is between them all).

But never is marriage between two partners and two other partners. My marriage may be rocked by your infidelity, but if my marriage collapses because of your mistake, i was already doing something wrong. Someone else's marriage should never be the last straw for yours.

I still don't really know what i think about the morality of homosexuality, and i still don't think it's entirely up to me to say. But i do know that a country which allows people who love one another to make a lifelong commitment is a country i am proud to live in, and a President who supports the civil rights of all human beings, regardless of whether or not he agrees with their choices, is a President who has my vote for a second term.

My freedom of speech only exists if you are also free to speak, even if you say things that offend me or that i disagree with.

My freedom to worship only exists if you are also free to worship, even if you worship a god i don't believe in, or worship my God in a way i don't like.

My freedom to marry someone i love only exists if you are also free to marry someone you love, even if i think your love is sinful.

If we give more freedom to one group of people than to another, it is not freedom. Freedom means sometimes being exposed to things that make us uncomfortable. Just know that shame, fear, and loathing will never win souls. The only thing that can reach a person lost in sin is love.